Midnight Musings
by HugAZombie
Summary: Collection of drabbles. 03: ""Whatever doesn't kill you, is gonna leave a scar." Rated T simply to cover myself in case I add slightly more mature themes in up-coming drabbles
1. Promises: Ritsuka&Seimei

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Loveless, dammit. *Sobs*. It belongs to Yun Kouga_

_**Notes: **__Yeah, I got bored and the first line popped into my head from nowhere and I needed to do something with it. This little drabble thing turned out to be that. Drabbles help quite a bit, I must say to clear the mind. I think that now I have this out of the way, as small as it may be, I can now concentrate properly on the next part of Black Flames. _

_Yeah, so there will probably be a few more drabbles, and I may create another 'story' like this for Merlin at the very least, which is the other fandom I feel most comfortable in. __ Anyway enjoy this one. _

_**Themes: **__Remembrance. Death. _

Promises aren't like rules – they aren't made to be broken. They are sacred contracts between people, spoken in trust or love or sometimes even fear. They should never be broken, and those who dare to undermine the sanctity of promises should be punished.

Seimei had broken _his_ promise.

Ritsuka lay on his stomach atop the slightly crumpled sheets of his bed. A ridge of bunched up material pressed into his abdomen uncomfortably, but he ignored it. His pillow lay cradled in the nooks of his elbows as he stared intently at his hands. He had small hands with almost square palms, indented with the usual marks and curves of any other hand. His could be considered a mite to long for his palms, and coloured and uninteresting ivory.

It was his two pinky fingers that held the brunt of his intense gaze. Dark eyes lingered on them, as if condemning them to the very depths of hell. He blinked harshly, clearing his eyes of a threatening blurriness before he closed his eyes completely.

His two little fingers curled together, resting comfortably. He inhaled deeply, scrunching his eyes shut. If he squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated hard enough, his left hand could transform, morph into a finger of more length and warmth then his own, one that was soft and smooth to the touch.

If he bit his lip and kept reality from steamrolling the whole experience, from that finger a hand would bloom, leading up into an arm and a shoulder and finally from there bleeding into the lithe figure, dark hair and kind eyes he treasured so dearly.

"_I'll never leave you, Ritsuka. I promise." Kind eyes. Kinder smile._

"_Pinky promise." Petulant pout. Proffered fingers. _

_Heart-warming chuckles. Gentle acceptance. "I pinky promise that I, Aoyagi Seimei, will never, _ever_ leave you, Aoyagi Ritsuka, alone._" _Another indulgent grin._

Ritsuka smiled, forgetting himself, forgetting the power of his own imagination and snapped his eyes open. The illusion was shattered like a glass figurine and he was left staring at his own entwined hands. He sighed, ripping his fingers apart and dropping his head onto the pillows. He didn't bother to ignore the burning sensation behind his eyes, nor the tickling trail of bitter tears that escaped.

No, promises aren't like rules – they cause so much more agony when broken.


	2. Weakness: Soubi&Seimei

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Loveless, dammit. *Sobs*. It belongs to Yun Kouga_

_**Notes: **__Right another little thing to get me into the mood of writing. Not too sure on whether or not I like this. I might rewrite it or revisit this idea with something a bit longer. Enjoy anyways. I might write a multi-chaptered fic with these characters, but I'm not too sure just yet. _

He is weak, weaker than he would ever be comfortable admitting. How had he become so? He never used to be this weak – not emotionally, not physically. And yet when he hears that voice, the voice like liquid silver pouring though the phone, calling someone else's name... he breaks.

Something inside of him, something restraining dark and ugly things snaps and he can do nothing about it. He isn't used to it. He has control – he has strength and control through those orders he is bequeathed with.

But now, now all he can hear is the shattering of his heart. He had never liked pain, never been willing masochistic – not with Ritsu, not with Seimei and never with Ritsuka. But this pain, this _agony_ electrocuting his limbs and freezing him in a torturous cocoon is different.

Physical pain is easy to ignore, to battle on through. But this is mental. Spiritual. The voice, that voice he had loved and revered and followed with no arguments, the voice he had believed only to hear in his memories is living, breathing, calling for someone else.

Soubi is nothing to that voice anymore, unlike Nisei.

Nisei...

His replacement.

No. Nisei had simply taken his rightful place. _Soubi_ had been the replacement, just something to tide Seimei over until the real Beloved made his appearance.

The darkness is spreading. Numbing. Loathing. And Soubi is breaking. Shattering. Splintering.

Seimei is alive.

Seimei is alive and it kills him.


	3. Scars: Soubi&Seimei Soubi&Ritsu

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Loveless, dammit. *Sobs*. It belongs to Yun Kouga. The lyrics belong to Marilyn Manson. (if you are curious it's called 'Leave A Scar.')_

_**Notes: **__Yet another little ficlet that came to me whilst listening to this song on the bus on the way to college. I am tempted to make a multi-chaptered AU story with these characters, let me know if you'd be interested. _

_**Themes: **__Angst. _

"_I'm just a painting that's still wet, if you touch me I'll be smeared, you'll be stained, stained for the rest of your life." _

Tainted. You are a broken doll. Used. Discarded like trash. And this has not happened just once, but twice to date already. You look at the one so young and innocent with the slit eyes of a snake. You shall only ruin his purity. He is your foil, a dazzling silvery white to your sinful blackness. Every moment he lingers at your side, every moment your pathetic craving for some kind of acknowledgement smears him further still.

And your mark of needy uselessness will never fade from his skin.

"_Turn around, walk away before you confuse the way we abuse each other. If you're not afraid of being hurt, I'm not afraid of how much I hurt you." _

You were marked, marked by the chains of weakness and lessons, of pain and twisted affections. For your first, it wasn't enough that he stole you of your innocence and your years, but he felt his role has his teacher also reached as far as to teach you the cruelties of life. He purged you of your fear of pain, made you all but immune to it. With your second you had no need to fear. Only to listen. Why be afraid of something you have already endured and survived? If you showed not fear, how would he know to stop? But even as you think this, you doubt either of them would've stopped.

Their mark is imbedded on your skin, a perpetual reminder of things you both adore and loath.

"_Whatever doesn't kill you, is gonna leave a scar."_


End file.
